A Christmas Story....

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It was the night of Christmas Eve and snow began to fall.....

 Mrs Browns Boys was good, Granddad got his own back on her with that remote while she was sorting the Christmas tree out what a laugh  

That was so funny! so glad the new series starts on Monday

 Yes New year special Monday I must watch that    I was just taking a sip of my drink when her son came in wearing that Santa's outfit on that chimney    I nearly chocked laughing  

 Right back to the story line, under the ice Dome the people gathered and brought in an ice Machine to refreeze the melted ice towers to form a large skating ring, and all donned their ice skates, and all though worse for wear they all skated away laughing and fooling around and many ended up sitting on their bums on the cold ice  

St.Johns ambulance were on emergency standby and tended to.....

tended to flirt with santa's raindear! when the old bearded guy wasn't looking.

And tended to those who suffered frost bite to their bits while sitting stranded on the newly formed ice, the relief shown on the face's of those afflicted by such a fall and entrapment was a sight to behold as para medics placed hot water bottles around them  

 And as Niagra said up there even the Raindeer came in for some attention so as to not feel as though they had been neglected while Santa was looking the other way  

sitting on a bench near the skating rink was a little boy called Damion, he watched everyone laughing and having fun but he couldn't join in as he had no skates, he wished....

he wished that old bearded guy in red suit would hurry up and take notice and deliver him a pair of ice skates before the ice melts again.

He wished that some one would fall over and break their necks so he could have their skates, well his Hallo was only on show when his Mummy was around, at all other times he was a right little    so with an out stretched leg at the right moment he made a wish  

  but santa cluse got hit over the head with a cricket bat by one of angry elfs because the old guy said those naughty Pussy Riot band girls over in Russia should go back to prison fer say'en naughty things and santa cluse's brain was wacked out of place and now he hates kids and really hates  kids that do ice skating.

and his first wish came true as Ladygenie's eldest cat who has over-indulged today has just yakked up on the carpet!!  

As Santa lay knocked out on the ice he became stuck to the ice, the Para medics by this time had run out of hot water bottles so left this old guy with a white Beard stuck to the ice,in the mean time the Elfs and the little angel boy that butter would not melt in his mouth robbed Santa's sleigh and the little angelic boy got his skates, but he still tripped afew up with his out stretched leg because he was like that you know.  

The first time this angelic little boy skated round the ice ring he fell and landed in L.Gs cats  mess and was not amused  

and Mr Muscle carpet foam came to the rescue  

 The carpet  foam was all good on the cat mess on L.G.s carpet but not to good on the ice patch that angelic little Devil boy fell in, and whose face smeared the yellow stain in the ice further in a straight line   all the other skaters gave this angelic little boy with the cat muck face a wide berth even though the little boys slide across the ice through the cat muck finaly finished under an over hanging bunch of Mistletoe, were sat a line of hopeful young ladies with shock Horror written all over their faces as they all gazed at this little boy with a less than desirable set of lips all puckered up and ready for action  

Lerking within the depths of ice dome
an ice Dancing maradona of a caliber
unequild at any time in recorded history
a dancer so utterly dedicated that all else
ment nothing to her but dance itself
she lay with legs out stretched upon the ice
as if she had just finished a scean from
the dyeing swan, unfortuneatly for her though
L.G.s cat had also visited that spot not more
than 30 seconds before she of the Dance arrived
a warmth she felt upon her neather parts that
felt so strange as she expected to feel the coldness
of the ice that formed the basis of the ice Domes
construction,the reality soon how ever set in as
a slight niff in the air soon explored her nose
that said that darn cat was here, a passing
simpathetic resident of the ice Dome whispered in
the Dance maidens shell like ear, i think that cats
name must be Kilroy because it seems to get every
were and leaves its calling card as it dose so,
ice Dancer sat there bewilded unable to speak
with a look on her face that said it all,
L.Gs cat sat on a nearby ice wall looking on quite
unconcerned and was engageing in a song contest
with pandora's feline friend,between the two of them
they raised a song equil to any suprano that ever lived
and the ice Domes mice population hid from view in
ice cube lane a well known area for ice mice,what are
ice mice i hear you ask,well they are the same as
normal mice only these mice wear tiny ice skates
and carry a tiny ice pick owing to the ice being to
cold and hard for their teeth,and also wearing skates
gave them the edge when it came to evading cats.
   

 The ice Dome founding Fathers in due course confiscated the offending Blue video which was instrumental in the devastation that befell the ice Towers that melted into History (after first locking them selfs away in an ice free environment namely the back of a lorry and par took of a viewing of said blue video,it was reported that they were seen leaving said back of a lorry each carrying a copy of said offending blue video and with big Banana shaped smiles upon their faces and they all walked with a deciding marked limp   )

  Back at the north pole santa claus has not recovered from having been wacked over the head with a cricket bat by that disgruntled little hoodlum wut demanded a pair of ice skates from the bearded old man . Santa Claus who has since gone completely mad has declared war on christmas claiming it is for the greater good and peace of mind.Claus bombed the post office at the north pole and mail is all being reversed back via return to sender.claus ordered the elfs be sent to prison and the toy factory has been shut down.

Rudolf the red nosed raindeer kicked santa cluse in the shins than called him a mean old bast-rd than ran off into the sky heading in the direction of Russia to seek refuge.The rest of the raindeer said good by to rudolf then told him to take his freak show with him . All the other raindeer were belligerent and obnoxious because when the old man in red suit got wacked over the head he looked like a drunken bum so's all the older raindeer figured they'd all stay drunk for a good long while .

After cluse blew up the post office at the north pole the raindeer set the storage facilities on fire so's even if those elfs took it upon themselves to continue on with the toy making tredition ,there would be no place to store up those toys.

 
A world were Santa goes mad becomes an Alcoholic
becomes a refugee in Russia,the elfs destroy
the toy factory, fun and enjoyment band
winter time finaly won the war and claimed its
prize,the cold felt colder,the nights longer
were smiles and laughter once stood proud
the icey snow Queens finger wrote her decree
fun and games outlawed offenders caught thus
breaking new law would be forever cast into
ice cubes and stored for all time in the
South pole Goolag, Raindeer again would become
a staple winter diet along with any children
who tried to raise a smile or think of toys,
Dr Who used his Time Machine Tardis to venture
into the distant future,and as if in a blink of
an eye again returned,the doors of Tardis opened
Dr Who slowly walked from within, the World looked
up searching for any sign his face may give away
of what he had found,their gaze met with a straight
unreadable stair,what had he seen,what of the Future
World,what of the ice Dome,what of this story.
(and as a footnote did the unrulely little boy
who slide through L.Gs cats mess ending up under the
missletoe next to those ladies score a hit with them
and gained a snog or two,and did L.Gs and Pandoras
singing duo of cats get into the Top Ten with their
milk bottle factory sing song.)   

 

    

The cats duet brought a silence everywhere, Father Christmas lost the look of madness from his face, Rudolph shared his barrel of beer ( that he had mugged a St.Bernard for ) and peace and harmony fell everywhere, everyone celebrated!

         

 fft that Saint Bernard was a cheap skate only got beer in its barrel, where's the Brandy then  

Santa had it on Christmas Eve with his mince pies  

 Good job I got a well stocked supply of    well never mind  what iv got its mine I tell you all mine iv even marked the bottles so I know what my Son has been sniffing around   oh don't go on that im tight, I have relented and let him have a few    well he did contribute to we have so its only fair (said biting my bottom lip   )