Wheyyyyyyy.... i got a girlfriend.

She arrives next week... £89.99 and £10 postage.
Bike pump not included.



I think i'll call her Susie.

Does it include a Puncture Repair Kit ? 

I never thought about a puncture outfit...
Typical woman...wants money spending on her already.... I'm refusing delivery.
...Back to train spotting and collecting comics.... I'm still mummies little soldier.

....and who said romance was dead!  Tsk Tsk

I must add I did mind my manners and was chivalrous to the end.

In short,I did open the door for her/it before I kicked her to the kerbside.

Her/it...hilarious, did you watch her with a tear in your eye as she Blew gently away in the wind, straight on to next door's roof 

Its uncanny,its like you understand me :)

I cried in me cuppa soup for hours...

There'll be no pitter patter of tiny little rubber balloons now.

(this is getting weird now).. hehe.

 If you ever get another lady balloon lover my mate says you just got to keep your eye on them and don't what ever you do inflate them with lighter than air gas or be to ruff in your four play and heat them up to much or your in for heart ache as they become unfaithful with you and will fly of hand in hand with the wind like your's Grumpy but in  your case I expect she will be back if that Ariel punches  a hole in her and she will ask forgiveness and for a pumpture patch and a repeat blow job  only I think using the pump would be advisable this time round or just bung her back in the box return her or flog her to your mate  

How's the Love Story Going Grumpy ?  Are you behaving yourself...and is she still Squeeky Clean  

Mayflower wrote:

How's the Love Story Going Grumpy ?  Are you behaving yourself...and is she still Squeeky Clean  

Its not good news Mayflower...

I can't believe how it ended.

I nipped into a service station for me usual gluten free bap,when i remembered i'd left my car window open.

The ungrateful latex based floozy only flung herself/itself out the window and was last seen floating oop north near junction 24 of the M1.

Inanimate objects hey..... who'd have em!!!

Hello Beaver old chum..

Who'ed have em,ya ya me thinks so too sometimes   

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   Hello Grump's yeah I wondered whose latex Bra's they where floating in the sky Heading towards East Midlands Air port and I near on choked on my cup of tea as I sat on my chair outside in my garden when I spied a lovely set of ( . )( . ) floating by at first I thought Super Girl from the Marvel Comics had come to life and found Earth        

Well that had me Laughing Out Loud....tears almost rolling down my legs !  

You Guy's are Clearly Crackers !

Keep up the Good Work    

 Hello Mayflower yeah I tuned into my radio tuner and pick up a report from a couple of High flying British Military jets transcript as follow

Mick one, do you see what can see  
jam two, jeez are those tits   
Mick one, look what we going to report   
jam two, U.F.O. or high flying Boobies and Bra   
Mick one, you report it  
jam two, Are you kidding, U.F.O s are one thing, High altitude flying Naked female is another   
Mick one, Say you saw Super Girl in the buff   
jam  two, Bugger off if we report this they will ground the pair of us   
Mick one, Right we havnt seen any thing ok  
jam two, Yes we got nothing to report over and out   

Mick one, Boy but want they a pair of Beauty's     
Jam two, im a leg man  myself but yeah sure were   
Mick one, Maintain radio silence ok     
jam two, Wilco ,,out. 

L M A O   Its like the Goon-Show  

 It was reported on French News 24 that a Catholic priest is recovering in Hospital after as was later reported to the Vatican and the Pope that this priest upon exiting from Mass saw atop of a large pine tree a vision of an Angel with a radiant blinding light around her, the shock proved to much for said priest and he collapsed  holding aloft his Bible shouting praise to the lord its a Miracle   it was later found to be a full sized doll of the blow up kind with a pair of inflatable bra's flapping about her neck  which when looked at from the location the Priest was in and with the sun as a back drop could be mistaken for wings, upon its retrieval from atop of said Tree an inscription in the shape of a Tattoo only drawn in Biro  on its left arm was found the Tattoo in the shape of a Heart with the words I LOVE GRUMPY GIT inscribed   as the inscription was in English it was presumed she had floated across the Channel first class with no Pass port so  has been interned awaiting deportation    

Hahaha..... brilliant post Beaver....

I've come to the conclusion that she's full of hot air.

I've promised me mum that i'll stick to carbon based life forms from now on.

That's a tough promise to keep Grumpy....One day at a time son, One day at a time  

 Grumpy I am not that surprised she is full of hot air in this weather I am sweating my cob's off myself, the carbon based one's can be quite a handful as well you know they  need careful handling or they to go off like a ruddy rocket so you got to get a bit nimble down that Gym so as to be able to take cover during one of their explosive days mind they are not that bad three weeks of each month  

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^^^^ Hahahahaa Niagra..

I see she's turned the other cheek :)

      

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 ^^^^^ Niagra if you try to blow one of those above your in for a right slapping that's for sure, Grumpys  shop bought one that comes in a pkt pump and lingerie optional is a far safer way to go as long as there's not a strong wind blowing on your adventures to the woods like  

Beaver- Are you kidding me ! 3 weeks out of 4 ! Tsk-Tsk