What's The.......

Most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?  

Farted in a lift at Tescos recently, it just flew out, i didnt even mean it, just me and one bloke. I dont think i was that embarrised though...just a bit surprised it came out and i couldnt stop it. Im sure ive had more embarrising moments..i'll ave a think.

Yes that is a raging subject for fartacologist at fartachology conventions.
Fartachologist refer to that as a slip fart . The psychologists have there own version of
the slip of the toung ,that is when one speaks slipping out with something that is unintentional
of the mind-the grand old F. slip. referencing the founder of psychology.

There was an instrumental written about the slip fart back in the sixties in the last century.
Classical Gas .Little do listeners know the whole thing was inspired by a sneaking fart.

The fartochologist play the instrumental classical Gas at the opening of their conventions because they feel the music exemplifies the beauty of the northern most outer areas of the planet that are unexplored and furthermore avoided . This is where farts go and why it is persons who fart find it easy to forget it. The frat goes where no man has ever gone and so it is therefer easily forgotten.

It is the purpose of fartochology to break the barrier and perhaps explore the unknown ,unexplored outermost northern areas where all the farts go. Perhaps even a source of undiscovered natural resources. After all the fart is indeed a form of natural gas !

Im pondering the above post... Hmmmm Yes....Hmmmmmm..very interesting...Hmmmm  

 

Shoosh in Googling fartochology  

 

 

Numpty  

sboosh hmmmm, yes you might have difficulty researching the field of fartochology and that is because fartochology is as of yet on the old cutting edge. For more than a century psychologists have been fascinated with the psychological effects of the common fart and in particular the sneaky slip fart as it's passing seems to create a certain discomfort not only to the farter but to those who happen to be in the path of the trailing fart.





And it's reverse trend which is the undeniable feel good effect in the release of the slip fart even though it was not intended by the farter.
Many many phychologist have become victims of the slip fart and while in secession which will be the cause of a most intrusive invasion of the sanction of the secession where it is all about doctor /patient intereaction. For example a offended or ever shocked patient may say ohhhhh Dr. Bumstead youuuuu farted. Another patient may laugh at it. Ha Ha youuuuuu farted.

It is and has always been the divisional reacton to the slip fart by the farter and those effected by the farters farts.

Another area of interest to those concerned is the instant excuses made as a result of having passed gas through the slip fart in a public setting. It is the need to speak on behalf of the act of farting as an unintentional act. Oh, ahh, excuse me. Phychologist know that there no excuse to made for a slip fat because it simply is as it occurs. But mannorism seems to compel the farter to ask to be excused for having farted as a matter of necessity,meaning the human body did what it did because it does what it must do to maintain itself.

Now than when you fart and no one is around you simply let it out because it must be released. You think nothing of it. But when you fart while standing in the supermarket line
,you look around as if to say ,who done that ? That is the undeniable fartachousiss.

It wasn't you so it had to be somebody else.

As of yet there is no name to attribute to the foundings of fartochology. And at the same time there many many phychologist that have ventured into the new realm.

Again the field itself is in it's humble beginnings .

No-one as of yet wants to take credit for it's foundling.
how would this name seem


Dr. Sigmond Bumstead -father of fartochology.

 

OK,so- if you must google than start by googling the sixties instrumental which calssifies early rock stuff Classical Gas. just search music -album Classical Gas. Than listen to it in full length without farting ,I say so because it is quit lengthy .


Than imagine psychologist from all over the world attending a convention wut's theme is fartochology. Classical Gas is played at the opening of their conventions to kick it all off.

Imagine how many of those phychologist who have experienced the effects of the slip fart while in secession and how it is the fascination with the common fart struck their fancy.

You will be hard pressed to find a phychologist who will addmitt to having an accute interest in the field of fartochology,in fact one would most likely deny such a field exists.

But woudn't you expect that very denial ?
After all it is about that age old slip fart which has been a cause of denial since way bak when ?

I mean think about it- cave man sitting around the cave at the fire-one farts out loud and the rest laugh about that? A thought may have been provolked by the farter which became a question-are they laughing with me or at me ?

And the common fart may hold the key to the orgins of laughter .But it may also be the cause of early psychological problems all of which have direct roots into denial itself.
Denial as you know can work against you or for you untill it works against you which it will always.

Psychologist that are branching off into fartochology are looking to make break throughs in the same way the slip fart does.

This is not to say there is a thing called the original fart- but that doesn't mean there isn't one .

Clearly yer's can see why it is seemingly the next thing to impossible to find information
through google about the cutting edge field of fartochology. Psychologist that are branching off and away from triditional Freudian logic and moving in closer or almost merging with Darwinian philosophy in search of the very tap root of deception itself. Now than if yer were to ponder the orgins of the original fart back to pre historic times where it is the slip fart became a source of community humor for the cave dwellers.

But the laughter and the levity created by the laughter also created tension and even provoked anger as a reaction to the laughter by the farter. Or in reverse befor the spoken word humor developed along with deception at the time of the cave dwellers as the farter blames someone other by pointing at who the farter says done the fart. And so around the caveman camp fire it becomes likeness to a hide en go seek or a bit of a of a who done it kind of thing . Childs play you might say. So you have humor laced with denial and deception tracing all the way back to the cave man.

The reason phychologist's that are branching away from Freudian logic is as big a deal as Carl Jung's departure from Freud's iron fist. Dreams.


But -Where it is Darwinian philosophy enters the shift, there it is about locating the tap root to denial,humor and deception. The slip fart now mind yers is not a spin off of the Freudian slip-but the slip fart does indeed slip out as yers well know.

Freud's view point clearly to the slip fart today would no doubt be more in line with a medical doctors view point to it. It would simply be dismissed.

But psychologisist that are slipping into the cutting edge of fartochology thus breaking away from traditional Freudian logic more or less through the sense of smell or some such thing realize greater truths can be uncovered /discovered although it requires defiance of the status quo .To the psychologist there at the point of the cutting edge ,there is the risk of being ram roded out of the field of psychology.

That is why for the secrecy and also why it is most difficult to obtain information about fartocology down the avenues of research findings.

You may find their research published through other fields ,disguised yer might say.
Fields such as archaeology,natural history-history ,the sciences as example ,but never should you find an article published in places such as Psychology Today the magazine.

They must hide what are trying to find and establish.
Fratochology.

  


Niagra very interestingly put fartology theory
im looking far deeper into the realms of time
itself,and looking at the extinction of the
Dinosaurs,yep,D.day for old Dino those
Giants that walked our land long ago
well they were big buggers aren't they
eating trees and grass as well as each other
no wonder man cribbed away inside those caves
out the way,and by George the air must have
stunk to high Heaven with all those outsized
rings blasting away,i mean look at the modernday
cows,they eat loads of grass,and they are legends
at farting no wonder the farmer puts them out in the
fields to fart away to their Hearts content,anyway
back to long ago,well man was hiding inside those
caves out the way yes,,,,but man needed to emerge
now and then to collect food,like do a bit of hunting
and gathering,could it be that while waiting in the
caves man played around with anything at hand
and one of them picked up two sticks and rubbed
them together and so created fire,imagine the
shock fire..and to cut along story a bit shorter
in due course man found that if he created fire
by rubbing together two sticks and bunging some
meat etc on it and cooked it,the meat tasted oh so
much better,well while out on one of their hunting
trips man sat down to have a rest,and feeling a bit
peckish like,took out a chunk of meat,and his two
sticks and thought i'll make fire and cook this
so proceed to rub the two sticks together and just
at that point when a spark of fire appeared,some
Dino with its ring facing in his direction let out one
major blast of gas,,,well a spark and fart gas as we
all now know are not to be mixed or look in fire!!!!!!
well seeing as how Dinos let rip rather a lot of said
gas it caused a firestorm which lit other Dinos fart
gas thus setting up a chain reaction which reverberated
around the world and wiped them out Extinction
man only survived because they lived in caves out the way
not that poor sod who rubbed those two sticks tho,
i mean he was toast like,but those that were still inside
the caves where ok,well the Worlds first lit fart was done
well after that shock man sat down in his cave and pondered
the power of the fart,and one brave soul dropped his garments
and picked up a twig with a small flame on its end,and bent
over a rock,closed his eyes and held the flame to his ring as
he blew on of,resulting in a streak of flame,it was at this point
that the first chuckle was heard,then another and another
soon the whole cave was in uproar and they invented laughter
and so from that day to this the very act of farting results
Worldwide in eruptions of laughter common to all members
of the Human race,a common bond if you like,yes farts have
come a long way since those far off days of the cave dweller
but the echos of laughter remain the same World wide
but to hide the humble farts beginnings,and to cover up the
true way the Dinosaurs met their ends,man came up with
the Asteroid theory that it was this crashing into the Earth
that resulted in the Dino's extinction,could the Humble fart
be now classed as the forerunner of the Atomic Bomb.

    

I always find it amazing how farts can always be a huge topic of conversation

Jumping out of a bedroom window and walking home wearing nothing but a bin bag!  

You get some real strange looks, especially at rush hour in the morning!  

Forgot you left your housekeys in your trouser pocket when you took them to the dry cleaners did you?  

Some food fer thought fer yers !

As yer know fer the past 200 some odd years ther's been some evolvement of the speaking of english in so far far as wut means wut and where wut means wut.

Variations yer might say.

Now, heres a thought- yers call gas petro and so a place to but petro as it would seem to figure would be called a petro station

But over here's a place to buy petro fer yer automobile is refeered to as a gas station .

Now eh,when you drive by a gas station yer can notice it is stationary .

wut if all public places had designated locations perfectly positioned fer the release of the fart ? A gas station if yers will !

Perhaps if the reality of the releasing of the fart were taken up as a matter of necessity rather than something one is wired to be in denial about left to roam about endlessly as though one must use up every bit of it fer as far as yer can go on it and than further.

You know like some peoples petro level indicator in their automobiles tells them they are about to go empty. But they deny it and continue on passing by petro stations as though they need not refule .They refuse to except that they passed almost all the gas !

sometimes they even speak to their auto as though it is human-they say things like=oh no ,you would't be tell'en me I'm out of gas-that's impossible.


That is the very link to denial that has it trace roots all the way back to the cave.

Imagine designated gas stations !

Wot?

Public farting stations !

I was doing another variation of what, wat and wot  

and wut  

Everybody at some time or other has been stuck in a supermarket line when all of the sudden the old fart just forces it's way through with such a quickness that it cannot be stopped.

Such a occurance of course can be very very embarrassing to say the least ,not to mention the discomfort it can cause for other trapped in the path of that od slip fart.

It would seem to stand to reason that public lavatories are the solution to that problem area,but that is not the case in eal time is it ?

Has the problem ever actually ever been properly addressed ?
come to think about it ,I think not !

Perhaps public gas stationary designated areas in public places would help to relieve the problum of the age old sneaky slip fart.

 Ok L.G. no farts in this sad fact that i'll recount and hang my head in shame  but it still stunk   and yes this really did happen to me long ago and has Haunted me ever since.  


Beaver aged about 12/13 years old
out with his mates getting up to mischief
location sewage works settlement ponds
sunny warm lovely summers day   


Object of game was to dear each one of us to walk across narrow brick separation wall that separated individual settlement pond beds all bubbling away and smelling rather ripe as i recall  yes you got the picture i kind of miss footed somewhere along that narrow strip of wall and took a high dive into that bubbling mass   only one way out to swim to one end where there were some swimming pool type ladders from which i could clamber out,so i had to swim through this foul smelling pool containing  well no need to explain with what,but on emerging my so called friends deserted me running in all directions holding their noses    so i then had to walk back home covered in crap stinking to High Heaven sending people scurrying out the way with a look of Horror on their faces  on arrival at home my Father stripped me naked in the back garden and hosed me down,threw all my clothes away and made me have a bath with loads of Disinfectant in it,i was red raw when i finished having a bath  oh the shame of it,my Dad kept a strict watch over me for a week or so after that in case i had caught anything from that experience,i can report that everything was ok,except my dented pride,i will not mention some of the things that my School Friends said when i went School  but after i had rolled in the grass with one or two of them which resulted in bloody noses all around things settled down abit sept maybe the odd chuckle and smile   Yes all that iv recounted really did happen to me  

 

Stepping poo is supposed to bring good luck....

  

 Then that means im very Lucky then L.G. im covered in luck  and it could have brushed of on any one who bumped into me at the time too. 

The thing of it is Mr. Beaver as we walk through life there are times in our pathwalk where the road ahead is covered in crap. When one comes across a road covered in sh-t there is but 2 choices-one will move forword walking through it of try to find away around it. But there comes a time in most everyone's life when the fact of the matter is,there is no other road to choose. And so if that is the case, one can either quit or continue on braving it .

Yer were put to the test in yer youth ,and wut you did is keep moving forword.
you never acredited yerself for having made the choice to cary on.

Sometimes it can seem as though the whole world is full of sh-t -but we must persevere-because the road to better is no easy path the walk.there is always something there that will seem to convince you there is no better,only worse.
But, you alway know in a deep rooted sense is that better is there and it will always get better.

How many times in yer pathwalk in life has it seemed as though the sh-t was getting just a bit too deep ? But each and every time that happened,wut did you do ? You persevered and made yer way to better times and a better place.

But-in the process Mr. Beaver ,did you fart ?


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