why oh why oh why

 iv been Gardening all afternoon, Hedge cut,Grass cut, swept up, picked up weeded, re-laid new slug pellets sunk two or three cans of Amber Necter  cooked dinner ate it sat out side in cool evening air knackered   why can not those boffins in the Gardening world  science  lab invent grass seed that grows no more than half and inch high crowds out weeds only needs cutting light trim once a year same to with the Hedge and then develop  flowers that when grown sort out those weeds that try growing up around them their selves with out any help from me   then I can get on with enjoying what bit of Summer we get here in England in peace      right RANT OVER   

 knackered, cuppa then Bed I think  

Have a good sleep Beav's 
here's a little something to help yer sleep


 

                  

what about that astro turf on footy grounds - does that grow  


anyway - what would a man do going to his mother-in-laws - he spends his time in the garden -   and is highly regarded

 Well I discuss this subject of a man visiting his Mother in laws with gardening implements with the lads down the dog and duck and the consciences of opinion was that this was indeed ok and they thought she would agree to laying under the apple tree after they had dug her hole and buried her promising to lay fresh turf  and keep the grass cut on a regular basis      

I use to like gardening, but its become such a frigging chore now!
The combination of rain and sunshine has turned it into the amazon. I have this fear of finding some little men in loin-cloths living at the back of the garage-hard to reach place, and decapitating one of them with the strimmer. That's why I don't do it...out of health and safety. 

My "shared" garden - is a natural habitat - there's possibly specimens never recorded - and apparently there's 2 wells !!!

The side entry to access it gives me the creeps - I can just make out the top of my wooden bench -

I guess one day the H Officer will be on to me about it - in which case - she can divide it up so I can husband whats mine

 

 
oh iv push my mower into the unknown
send many a wierd bug a running
dodge blow pipe darts, and Tigers
and man eating snails,
iv even found long lost resting seats
and mystical wooden sheds
iv soldered  on in the summers heat
and collapsed knackered on my bed
oh im a man who ventures out
were many fear to tread
cos im the gardener yeah
a cotten pickin gardener oh yeah
look out there yer darn pesky ants
and yo there snail and slugs
yeah iv some pellets fer yer
yeah you when i am in the garden
look out cos yer dead meat yeah.