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Ladygenie

Ladygenie

Posts : 3342
Join date : 2012-11-16
Age : 59
Location : Yorkshire

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PostSubject: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyMon Jul 01, 2013 10:50 pm

First topic message reminder :

men always think they never need to read instructions??

Read this ladies and chuckle and guys.....prepare to feel sympathy pains laugh5 

A genuine review for Veet for men.........

By Tenaciter -
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
I live in the countryside and watching the lambs gambol in the fields I pondered that they would need shearing soon and from there turned my thoughts to doing a little thinning of my own undergrowth. On a trip into town I saw a tube of Veet and the product description seemed ideal for my purposes. I didn't read the instructions because I'm a man.

One night, when the wife and kids were in bed, I got out the tube and applied the gel liberally to my crotch. For the first few moments I felt nothing but then after about 5.9 seconds I had a strange sense of deja-vu. You see when I was a teenager one of my younger brothers mates shot me in the head with a bow and arrow. He didn't mean to but we beat him up for it anyway. While the arrow was stuck in my head I could feel some pain but the shock kept that down. It was the thought that I'm going to have to pull this baby out which is going to magnify the pain massively that stuck with me.

As the gel started to sizzle and wisps of smoke started rising I knew that the pain I was feeling now would be as nothing compared to what was coming. It wasn't. Trying to find the words to describe it is difficult but imagine, if you can, having your scrotum industrially sandblasted from a distance of about a foot with broken glass mixed with acid and salt.

I ran outside into the cool night squealing like a stuck pig to hose down my crotch. I had no thoughts at this time of what the neighbours would think of this unholy banshee, but afterwards I heard in the nearby villages they had laughingly put it down to a family of foxes being caught in a thresher. At some point the water butt was drained and my screams went up a further few octaves into the realms beyond human hearing. Which was good for sparing my embarrassment with the neighbours, but was less good for the bats in my loft for whom the intensity of my scream proved terminal.

I wolfed down some pethidine and strong codeine tablets and was able to sleep for a few fitful hours. I dreamed there was a giant troll repeatedly trying to drop-kick my scrotum to Poland, before awaking to witness the damage done. My eyes were running with the pain, my scrotum looked like something that would be served as an hors d'oeuvre to Sauron, and my sense of smell had gone.

I later found out that the acrid fumes from my burning crotch were so pungent they cauterised my nostrils.

So overall 5 out of 5. It clearly does remove hair, and flesh, or at least that's what they say has happened when the dressings are changed.

I didn't expect to have to wear an adult nappy because of the ongoing genital weeping, and I am "off-games" for at least the rest of 2012 and possibly the whole of my adult life, but there you go.

Potential buyers might consider self-castration as a cheaper and less invasive alternative.

*Ladygenie says......ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! laughing*
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stumpy



Posts : 976
Join date : 2013-02-03

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptySat Jul 13, 2013 8:44 pm

those silver tints, took about 3 days to disappear, and i can tell you, I was washing my hair about 4 times a day to try and get rid of them. I never did that again i can tell you
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beaver12
October 2013 top poster
October 2013 top poster
beaver12

Posts : 3845
Join date : 2013-04-01
Age : 69
Location : nottingham

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptySat Jul 13, 2013 9:36 pm

Rolling Eyes Stumpy my Hair has got more and more silver tint's whistle and i did not use Carpet cleaner to get them Suspect 
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Ladygenie

Ladygenie

Posts : 3342
Join date : 2012-11-16
Age : 59
Location : Yorkshire

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptySat Jul 20, 2013 9:29 am

Nothing wrong with grey *highlights*....can look very distinquished on a fella Very Happy 
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stumpy



Posts : 976
Join date : 2013-02-03

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyTue Jul 23, 2013 9:10 am

what hair i have left i tend to keep very short, sometimes i let it grow long, and it starts looking like a cross between Don King and something that has been sprayed with weed killer
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beaver12
October 2013 top poster
October 2013 top poster
beaver12

Posts : 3845
Join date : 2013-04-01
Age : 69
Location : nottingham

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyTue Jul 23, 2013 9:34 am

Rolling Eyes Laughing Laughing Laughing 

Well iv still got a good head of hair,to good it just cost me £7.quid to get it cut Shocked Shocked 
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Guest
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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 10:03 am

Oh i cant read all that cool1 
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MidnightTiger76RT
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Highest Total Of Forum Posts Achiever
MidnightTiger76RT

Posts : 1793
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Age : 43
Location : King Of The Jungle

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyWed Jul 24, 2013 12:09 pm

I have seen a slightly different variation to the veet one. The one i seen was funnier but probably not suitable here. Some people just know how to write a funny story lol
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Ladygenie

Ladygenie

Posts : 3342
Join date : 2012-11-16
Age : 59
Location : Yorkshire

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyThu Jul 25, 2013 6:56 pm

Rolling Eyes 
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Ladygenie

Ladygenie

Posts : 3342
Join date : 2012-11-16
Age : 59
Location : Yorkshire

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PostSubject: Re: Why do............???   Why do............??? - Page 2 EmptyThu Jul 25, 2013 7:00 pm

meandmybanjo wrote:
Oh i cant read all that cool1 

Probably because it would bring back painful memories for you and btw turnip head...since when did you smoke? cool2 
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